Grief and Letting Go
Reflection 3
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
E.M. Forster
Opening Prayer
Bless me, O God, with enough of You to bring me out of hiding undressed of untruths,
thin as leaves, and bare to my soul to be known.
Even as nerves are unwrapped and anxieties un-bandaged, even with my instinctual desire to cloak, to tailor a way of exposure and cheat my way out of certain death, I come out to You not because it’s easy…because hiding is futile.
Nothing goes unnoticed, nothing unseen, there is not one thing that exists outside of Your vision. So, I give You my willingness to be vulnerable, to become transparent and teachable, to be redesigned and redressed.
To my greatest ability, God, I bring myself to You, hoping you will take me as I am. Amen.
(Kelly Ann Hall)
Reading: Psalm 46:1-2
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear,
though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.
A Labor of Letting Go
Grieving is a labour of letting go in order to make room for the “new”. The better able we are to grieve, the more of life we can continue to take in, the better we can love and the larger our soul becomes. Grieving is also a source of wisdom and a catalyst for maturation. It is the inner work of transforming the pain of loss into the possibility of new life. It is a life-force energy that spawns wisdom, empathy and compassion, a catalyst for soul’s evolution.
“Grief is Like a River”
Grief is like a river: dynamic, often turbulent and constantly changing direction.
When you look back, many things contribute to how CLM experiences the current loss. How well do you cope with these on-going waves of grief?
Grief has to pass through the contours of our current CLM reality, so whatever other life stressors we are dealing with in our RMU, ministry and in our personal life may intensify the rapids.
What are the stressors you are experiencing now that create waves or ripples of loss or grief?
Be hopeful. We know from experience we will pass through the really rough spots and be grateful for the wisdom those troubled waters have given us. What gives you hope at this time? In what ways are you called to courageously go with the flow?
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Transitions can only take place if we are willing to let go of what we have known and our assumptions about “how things are.” To let go is the sign of being reborn. We discard the baggage of our own expectations and, like a morning glory, open to the possibilities of each new day, each new moment, even if those possibilities are shadowy and disorientating.
We say that we are letting go, but letting go is more like a tug of war. We diligently guard our stories (true or not), our lifestyles, and our belief systems until they are ripped from our sweaty palms. And yet, letting go is a necessary part of transformation….
Letting go may be the only path toward rebirth. The truth of the matter is that we are clutching at nothing! The stripping has already begun. We are called to be wise, to open our minds, our hands, and our hearts, and let go.
When we let go, the only constants are God’s love and God’s promise that we will never be left alone. Sometimes it takes a crisis to remind us that we are not in control. We may get stuck in the backwaters of bitterness and stagnate in a swamp of resentment, but most of us will find a channel that will carry us on toward the sea. Death is either the end of the journey or the beginning of a whole new adventure.
Personal Reflection and Journaling
Name and claim the losses.
Jot down two or three losses that you are experiencing in CLM now. Jot down the ones that you
have yet to fully let go, to grieve, the ones that are keeping you from being fully alive, are lessening your passion or numbing your soul. Name and claim these losses for yourself and choose one that you wish to address now.
Transform the disempowering experiences into empowering ones.
A profound loss will never be grieved to the point of erasing all its pain. The pain that remains
however, can either be a source of empowerment or disempowerment.
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Journal about how your loss has been empowering and disempowering to your spirit.
Reread what you have written. Then take time to pray and reflect over these experiences.
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Rewrite the disempowering experiences into more empowering ones.
Closing Prayer: Grief is like a River
My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.
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Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.
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I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need
Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.
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Grief's river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope's channels,
I'll reach the shore at last.
- Cinthia G. Kelle